i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
