Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
