Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
After tacos, we're chasing women.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
