Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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