we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
