I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
