I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
