my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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