I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
