what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
