I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
