K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
