atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
