I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
