can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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