Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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