I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
