dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
