and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
