there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
and she was petting her beer can
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
