Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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