There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
