windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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