You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
