When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I want her autograph on my taint
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize