apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
