Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
