I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
