fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
