Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize