Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It was confusing and full of hummus
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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