I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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