I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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