she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I believe in your delicious
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
