She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
