Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
