The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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