we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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