Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
