I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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