i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
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