My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
