So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
