is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
