Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
