I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
