Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
smell my finger.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
