I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
