Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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