how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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