I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
