Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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