I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
