it's not cheating when I paid for it
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
