every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
