im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize