I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My life is pants optional.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
