Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
