he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
