yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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