thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
