Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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